Essay errors example

Original essay

Imagine a slow sharp pain running through your whole body as you sink at a leisurely pace, to your death with no way to survive while you make up a completely dierent scenery in your mind. One exciting night or so they thought turned into the most dreadful and alarming night of their lives.

It all began one ghastly evening as 4 friends were hanging out on a brisk and frigid stormy night. Their nameswereknown as Madi, Waylon, Creighton, and Cate. They got bored fast so they ended up ordering pizza. “What favor do y'all want?” asked Madi, “CHEESE,” Cate screeched. “Alright” with no response from either Crieghton or Walyon.

“Yall wanna play a game?” Cate said with excitement. Creighton nodded and Waylon dashed past the others to the basement “hurry up!” “Let's play truth or dare!” the others ran to the basement and picked their favorite seats “I'll go first...” says Waylon hoping someone choses dare, “Creighton, truth or dare?” After a few seconds Creighton replies with, “before we start let me go to the bathroom.”

With a disappointed look they all sigh and continue the game without him. After about 5 minutes has gone by and Creighton still hasn’t returned. “Has anyone noticed Creighton hasn’t come back yet?” Cate says confused. “Eh?” “He probably just fell in.” Madi smirks.

Then they get to a dare where everything changes. It’s Madi's turn and she asks, “Cate...truth or dare?” “Uhm dare cause why not,” “If you say so,” she clears her throat and tells Cate the dare “Alright I dare you to run all the way back to the end of your property where the end of the woods are then run back without a flashlight.” Waylon was shocked, hoping Cate would say, “yes” to the dare. “Yeah I'll do it, I'm not scared.” Cate says proudly. “Mhm sure it'll be like a walk in the park,” Sarcastically Madi says, “Or a walk in the woods,” Cate says “I'm pretty sure you'll get scared and start running back like a coward,” Waylon adds to the conversation. “Nah I think you’re talking about yourself,” Cate and Waylon begin to bicker and Madi continuously stares and says, “HUSH!” “Fine, I'm just gonna go.” Cate says with a quiver in her voice.

They opened the door and just stood there, the jet black sky so dark it sent chills down their spines. “Welp, bye I hope I don’t die.” She set off as Waylon and Madi slowly took steps back as if they saw something horrific but Cate didn’t notice. She felt her body slowly walk forward and forward like she wasn’t able to move her own feet. What am I doing, where am I anymore? she thought to herself.

She saw a tiny bright light and focused on it and moved closer and closer towards it as her walk turned into a jog she forgot everything that was happening even Madi, Creighton, and Waylon. Creighton hadn’t come back from the bathroom ever since Cate left for the dare. The light orb she was following disappeared into the poorly lit night. She fell over crashing into a tree causing some blood and scrapes to her knees. “OW, I CAN’T SEE ANYTHING!” she shrieked. Then suddenly everything flashed for about 2 minutes straight. She didn’t move, not even a centimeter. But it stopped with the little light orb back again so her mind and body made her get up and follow it. It went in unpredictable directions then it went down? Why? She leaped. SPLASH!

She hit the water but still couldn’t control her movements so there were two parts of her: reality, and what was happening in her mind it seemed real. Anyway, as she jumped in reality she was drowning but in her mind she fell to the ground slamming her legs so hard to the bottom they broke within seconds, but she felt absolutely nothing. She felt the crunch of what seemed to be bugs and leaves underneath her...disgusting. She crawled to this place that looked like an abandoned hospital, glass shattered, blood splattered, and seemed to be people standing at the front! She couldn’t recognize who it was til she moved closer, well...as close as she could because she can’t walk. The people near the hospital looked like...Waylon, Madi, and Creigthon. She shouted one of their names asking for help. They didn’t respond...she called for one of them again. No response. Instead she tried getting out of the place she was in by crawling to the place she fell from. She struggled making her way back. Then something shocking happened.

Her friends moved in reality and in her mind, in reality they came searching for her, in her mind they came with a knife. All of this has happened and Creighton was in the bathroom in reality, in her mind he was apparently chasing her with Wayon, and Madi, with a knife. HELP! A scream so high she froze in fear then they got to her...the scream stopped, her heart stopped, she didn’t move, her mind had betrayed her, her friends betrayed her in her mind. In reality died and in her mind. Waylon went out to look for her. Dead. Madi looked for both of them. Dead. The truth why Creighton never came back. Dead. Seems a curse is going around the curse tricking people to listen to the devil their minds causing them to do something in reality...killing them. The pizza guy never came. The door bell never rang. I suppose the curse got him...Dead.